👉 “I am “ statements (I am strong, capable, strong …)
👉 Growth mindsets
👉 Focus more on the process instead of the outcome
👉 Reward the work they give effort
👉 We get in life what we put into it
👉 Book recommendation: Mindset by Carol Dweck
You can find more information about Brian on his website: https://brianbogert.com/
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🎧🎧 You can listen to the whole interview here: https://anchor.fm/contentking/episodes/Our-own-stories-are-the-best-teachers-that-we-have--Interview-with-Brian-Bogert-eoh8un/a-a490sm3
And I asked. I asked myself. Okay. Is he teaching some entrepreneur skills to his children? And if yes, how? So because I also have a little son. So that would be interesting. Also for me. So I wouldn't call it entrepreneur skills. I would call it life skills. But we're super intentional about it, right. So and I think that those things apply holistically.
And that's just, like, generally our philosophy. So, yes. You know, both of my kids have been doing "I am" statements from the time they could talk, and I am statement is an answer to the who are you question.
Right. So I could ask: Yakup who are you? And you could answer that question based on who you are today and the things you've already done or based on who you want to become. The things you want to accomplish.
Both are equally powerful. And so literally. Since the time my kids have been talking, we've been doing I am statements like I am strong.
I am worthy. I am brave. I am. I am capable. Right? And we've got certain statements that we say every morning before we go to school and you know, it was pretty cool because my son, when he was in preschool, we picked him up from preschool, and that was one of the exercises that they did in his class. And his teacher came up to me as I was picking him up and said, you won't believe what happened today. I was like, what? She said. We always ask people to just complete the statement I am.
And she said, four and five-year-olds completely struggled with this and she said, but not your son. Your son rattled off.
I am strong. I am brave. I am kind. I am unlimited. I am the manifestation of my thoughts. I'm like he literally rattled off like six, and she was like, blowing away.
And I just got a smile on my face and I said, yeah, we've been doing I am statement since he was born and I said so it probably is second nature, so yeah, we do those things we do. We do a whole lot around growth versus fixed mindset stuff in our house, you know, so we focus a lot on the process versus the outcome because I think that's really what it is, whether we call it entrepreneurial life lessons, right, whenever we can focus on the process versus the outcome, the outcome one. We can't control the process we can, but the outcome is well like might change or materially different regardless of what the process looks like.
And so what we reward is, instead of our kids being smart or getting an on a paper or right, we reward the work they put into the process, right? So if one of our kids is struggling with something I don't and I tell them all the time, I don't care if you come home with f's on everything.
I don't care if you fail. As long as I know you've given your 100% effort. If you give 100% of your effort in anything, I will always have your back.
I will always support you. I will always be behind you. It's where you don't give your effort that I don't care. I don't care if you succeed or fail. If I don't think you're giving it your all, I don't care like it's not.
That might sound harsh, but the reality of it is. What I'm trying to get them to understand is we get out of life what we put into it. Great.
And if we have a growth mindset, then we realized that we can grow and evolve based on the variables in the world. If we have a fixed mindset, then it's based on who we are.
So the outcome of anything defines who we are, versus what we can learn and grow to become. So we focus a lot on that, and then when my son, in particular, you know he's on the autism spectrum, and so he's got anxiety and stress and different things that enter into his world. Anyway, fear is one of those things that can cripple him.
And so one of the things that we've worked a lot with him on is like he will literally create something to be so big in his head. That's really not that complicated. And so we talked to him a lot about how the greatest things in life on the other side of fear. Fun is on the other side of fear, freedom is on the other side of fear, fulfillment on the other side of fear. And so in those moments when he hesitates, you know, you watch this video of me doing mountain biking with him the first few times we did it, we get to the top of a hill and he needs to descend, and he literally wouldn't go down.
He didn't want to. He was afraid: what if I crash? What if it's too steep? And then all we had to do was start to give him the structure to understand.
You know, when I started working with mountain biking, we broke down all the fundamentals into individual techniques and skillsets. And then we started stringing them together.
And so then when he got to the top of the mountain, I was like, oh, yeah, I remember how we did this with your pedals. Remember how we did this with your weight distribution? Remember how he did this around the corner? Remember how he did this?
Yeah. You know how to do it all. So I have to do is let go of the break and trust the process. And, like, let the bike do the work, right? And so the more he's done it now, he doesn't hesitate anymore.
So we in our household look for similar stories that we talked about earlier. We look for all those things. Both my wife and I have teaching moments, right if I lose my temper and I raised my voice that my kids or my wife, which I'm never proud to do but I admit, happens to me sometimes I'm human, right? I use that as a teaching moment to tell my kids like, hey, I'm sorry. Daddy lost it.
It's not your fault. I'm not upset with you. I'm not upset with mom. It was the things that happened in my day that I allowed control me and I said, it's my responsibility to take ownership for that when I screw up right? So it's like we use their own life experiences and then we use our own vulnerability to teach those lessons because that's where it starts. Are those kids? Man, that's cool.